Mom: Sooo…. Whatcha gonna get me for Mother’s Day?
Me: Naa. What YOU gonna get ME for Mother’s Day?
The tables have been turned!!
To those who come through my drive smoking weed, or smelling like weed:
I hate you all.
Every time it happens, I get super jealous and wanna hit that blunt you’re holding. But can I?
No, because I’m working.
But anyways, you guys are aweaome and always make my night,
Stay amazing. ♥
Man, if I had sex right now, my butthole would like, explode.
I love my friends ♥
My best friend of almost 17 years hid her husbands underwear from him.
So she can get pregnant. As she says,
HE NEEDS TO LET THEM BALLS BREATHE. MY CHILDREN NEED AIR
This is why we’re best friends.